Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize