Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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