I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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