i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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