Define "chronic" masturbator.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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