so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
