Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
