That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize