Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
