i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
be right there i have to get my cape
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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