i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
