I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
