After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
