why didn't you poke me back
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
