I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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