so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
