'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
