Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
