Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
