She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
that is very illegal...i love you.
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