On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
