haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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