kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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