So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
