Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
