Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
