Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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