I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize