She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
