The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
