Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
