did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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