an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
