I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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