Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
