Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
