NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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