3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
