He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You are a genius and a whore.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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