yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
