He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
