I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
