i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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