Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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