so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You should frame my arrest warrant.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
