batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
