I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize