If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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