i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
