That's when you crack a 10am beer
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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