hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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