I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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