yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
