We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize