I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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