sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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