I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
