my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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