sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize