I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
