no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
