nut hugger
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
