I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
