margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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