So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
