.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
