Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
