who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
