areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
