Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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