She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
