I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
