Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
