Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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