Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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