are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
