I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
