Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
